“What do you do,” a young mother asked, “if you had to leave home early to find work and though you tried very hard, at the end of the day, you found nothing? What do you do when you go home with empty pockets and hands and your two children, whom you left home, had nothing to eat for breakfast and lunch that day? What do you do when they run to you and ask if you have anything to eat, because they’re very hungry? What do you do?”This woman asked a priest, who could not say anything. For what can you say to a story that’s as real as that? He did, however, ask the woman, “What did you do?”
“We just hugged each other cried,” was her reply.
Such was the story related by Fr. Gilbert Ramos in his homily for the Mass he celebrated last 16 February in Balmoral (Good Shepherd Parish), the day before the Lenten Season officially began.
He continued to talk about how in the Gospel reading that day, the apostles were overly concerned about not having enough bread to eat, when prior to that incident, they witnessed Jesus’ miracle of multiplying the loaves of bread and fish with heaps of leftovers. He talked about faith and how sometimes we lack it or pray and ask for God’s help conditionally.
It struck me as I listened to his sermon that for the first time, as long as I could remember, I had just surrendered totally to God’s will. For almost half a year, I was struggling to find full time work with pay. Despite my continuous search, several CV versions, and fielding of applications left and right, the most I got were part time jobs given by relatives and friends and a non-paying internship for a not-for-profit organisation.
Of course, I was glad to have helped OxfamNZ with its advocacies and had self-fulfilment achieving my goals during my internship with regard to producing the social media manuals and strategies of the organisation. I appreciated the blogging job and the retail sales experience, too. But the pressure was on by the start of 2010 to find full time work so that I could help provide for our family, particularly because my husband was still a student and could only work 20 hours a week.
Although it was difficult, especially since I do not (yet) drive, I completed the nine-day novena and Mass for the Feast of the Santo Nino last January. A first for me. Once, I rode the bus, got lost and walked more than a kilometre to find my way to the church. Another time, coming from another direction, I accidentally got off more than a kilometre early and had to walk the rest of the way. The rest of the time, I ate my pride and hitched a ride to and fro with friends.
I prayed for a job, any job that God wanted me to have, that would help lead me to sanctity, as well as help provide for my family. I surrendered to His love and will, applying for jobs that I was not truly keen on but knew I was qualified for. And then it happened. I got call-backs and interviews one after the other. I had my preferences, but left all to His will. On that morning I heard Mass at Balmoral when Fr. Gilbert talked about having complete faith in God, I had just signed a contract for a full time, 40-hour per week job with a small company that was actually my first choice among the little options I had. A good job, good work environment, a good company that upholds principles similar to mine. Normal working hours and short bus ride away from home.
My first day of work was on the following day, Ash Wednesday. What better way to commemorate the start of Lent?
